Tag Archives: comedy

Comedy, Tea & Trivia

Lil Dave was already gone on August 28, 2012. He made some monkey friends on the boat and he decided to have fun with them. He was definitely going to take advantage of having as many bananas as he wanted on the cruise ship.

Today was a Sea Day.  Ivan and I watched the morning show with the cruise director Butch and Calvyn. Calvyn is soo funny. We heard them talking about the steakhouse called Fahrenheit 555 (pronounced as five fifty-five). There was a contest to win some stuff from the store that sold things for cheap $10. I called in and got in first. Butch asked where I was from. I said I was from Las Vegas. Butch said that he’s attending UNLV. I told Calvyn that I loved him. He said it wasn’t going to work out for us (he’s gay that’s why). I said You were checking out my husband last night which he actually glanced at him when we passed by him last night.

The question was what is the name of the steakhouse. Ivan was trying to tell me the answer, but I was plugging my ears since the tv was on so loud. I said Fahrenheit 555 (five five five) and Calvyn said no and hung up on me. I was sad and Ivan was mad that I didn’t listen to him. Somebody else called in and answered correctly. Calvyn told her to pick 2 of the 3 prizes. He said that the clutch (purse) would go to me. Butch thought it was only fair since he rudely hung up on me.

Ivan and I headed to Ocean Plaza for the Mind Trivia. Ivan popped his head in and saw Butch and Calvyn doing the morning show in the Liquid Nightclub. Ivan told me that was where they were, so I popped in to say hello. The show had just finished when I got there. I met Butch and Calvyn who were both really nice. Butch said I saved them a trip to going to our room to deliver the clutch. Calvyn gave me a cherry covered chocolate that was in the shape of the mouse. it was the Calvyn Candy of the Day.

I went back to Ocean Plaza to help Ivan out with the Mind Trivia. It was a hard game with mind twisters.. too bad we didn’t win.

It was time for lunch at the Sapphire Restaurant for Punchliner’s Comedy Brunch. Ivan and I each started off with a tomato soup. Ivan got salmon fillet while I got an omelette with vegetables. The food was quite tasty. Thomas Brown came on at 12 pm. He was making fun of people in the audience. One old lady kept hitting on him. He was avoiding her though after awhile. He was only on for 10 minutes which I think is too short. It’s also a bit strange that they’re just chatting to people and moving around the restaurant.. I think it should be like the comedy club where the comedian does a bunch of jokes in one spot. It does give you an idea if the comedian is funny though and if you should check them out later.

We headed up to the pool. I rushed so I could be a judge to the Hairy Chest Competition. I did this on the last Carnival cruise I was on and it was lots of fun. The entertainment host asked if everybody was 21 because the prize for us would be champagne. I mean if you weren’t 21 would you admit it knowing that the prize was champagne? I don’t think so!

The guys came over to us dancing their moves to whatever song was being played like I’m too sexy. The three girl judges put suntan lotion on the men.

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We put tons on and didn’t really rub it in.

We got to pick the best guys to move on to the next level. The guys had to give their best pick up lines and most were really lame like How are you? Have these guys ever hit on a woman… not too sure on that one.

Again, we got to pick the next guys who would move on to the final level. The two guys got dressed up in girl’s clothing from the guests’ clothes at the pool. Then, they had to gather the most people for a conga line. I joined it and conga’d up the second deck and back down to the pool deck.

It was nice getting a free bottle of champagne for doing something so easy.

Next, we headed to Tea Time. It’s held in the Blush Restaurant. I’m not sure why it’s never so busy.. maybe people don’t really read their Fun Times which includes all the events that are occurring all around the ship. Ivan and I had some scones, macarons and strawberries… and, of course, tea. It’s always lovely since you get a nice view of the ocean.

Our next stop was the Liquid Nightclub for the Cruise Critics meetup. Ivan thought that Butch might be there. We got to meet Butch, Calvyn and Noonan (he’s the comedy show host).  Butch was really nice.  We said that we did this cruise because we’re big fans of John Heald who’s the senior cruise director and the brand ambassador of Carnival.  But, we didn’t find out until before the cruise that he wouldn’t even be on the cruise since he was having surgery for his carpal tunnel.  Ivan thought that John didn’t know until recently, but Butch told us that he knew he was going to be on this cruise a year before.  We wouldn’t have booked it if we knew John wouldn’t be on it.  It was great talking to the guys.  I felt really short since everybody was 6 foot tall or more. 

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Later, we went down all the slides a few times and then the jacuzzi to read our books.

For dinner, we had a French Canadian family who spoke English and were really nice.  But, the location was off to the side of the main dining table.. we thought it was worse than the first night. 

Ken the maitr’d sang and some of the waiters danced.

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After dinner, we saw the comedians Thomas Brown and Dwight Slade again at the Punchliner’s Comedy Club.  They did a different set to the previous night.  They were both really funny. This is one of the reasons why we love Carnival cruises so much – they have their own comedy club!

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Hasselhoff Chat Show

Lil Dave went to meet up with his Uncle MacDave on August 21, 2012 to hang out and see his show The Monkey with Banana on his Face (similar to The Boy with Tape on his Face – I wonder who copied who?!).

We walked around the Royal Mile and saw more performance art advertising shows around the Fringe Festival.

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I went to get a haircut.  The lady really got into cutting my hair like she was competing for best Edinburgh hairdresser of the year.  I think the haircut took 30 minutes.  I got my hair short again since with the layers my hair looks really full.  I think I’m going to keep it short for awhile.

We rushed to The Tim Vine Chat Show.  We love Tim Vine who’s known for his quick one-liners and puns. 

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I think he was testing out a game show where he’s a chat show host.  Everybody filled out a paper at the beginning where they stated what they did for a living and an interesting story.  We didn’t fill one out since we didn’t want to be chosen. 

Tim Vine told some awesome jokes.. he’s hilarious!! He even talked to us since we were sat in the front row.  The Chat Show was 4 guests from the audience with interesting jobs (well, some of them were) like a movie promoter?? who’s promoted such movies like Batman?.  The Chat Show part was alright… I prefer Tim’s comedy show instead.  I’m glad we got lots of jokes still.

We had lunch at Italiano on the Mound again.  The roasted vegetables on ciabatta is the best sandwich for sure – I think the pesto makes it! 

Ivan and I did souvenir shopping.

Later, we went to see An Evening with David Hasselhoff.  David Hasselhoff is weirdly really popular in Germany for his singing.  I’m not really sure why though.  He sang a lot of songs like some song from Les Miserables that I bet nobody knew and too many love songs that he sings.  The Germans were getting into it.  It was a rather odd show… there was limbo where people go low and people from the audience joined it.  I didn’t know what to expect with the show.. but it wasn’t as good as I thought it would be.

For dinner, we went to our favorite vegetarian restaurant in Edinburgh, David Bann. 

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Ivan and I shared tofu, mushroom ravioli, goats cheese salad and a lovely orange cake for dessert.  The wine was a lovely Viognier Trivento Tirbue from Argentina again – it went well with the ravioli.

Next, we went to check out another Fringe show this time a ventriloquist named Nina Conti.  She’s been around for years.  She was amazing and her characters were all very different.  She even took of the clothes of one of her characters which was odd since seeing it without any clothes on made me think of Cabbage Patch dolls.. the puppets looked similar.  I loved the character Monkey and her grandpa was very funny as well.

Our last show of the evening was a play called Wrecked.  This show we saw being advertised on the stages on the Royal Mile.  This play was about a kid who’s dad comes back into his life after a long time since he was in jail.  He was always told that his dad committed a robbery a long time ago, but later we find out it his crime was much more sinister. 

The kid thinks his dad is cool, but things go wrong one day… when his dad almost beats a Muslim to death when he finds out that the guy did his son wrong. 

The crime of the dad was that he raped a little girl… also, he sexually abused his daughter and beat up his mom.  The kid thinks his mom died of cancer, but it really was that she got beaten up so much. 

It escalates when he has to help out his dad get out of a fix and he realizes that his dad is only looking out for himself when he doesn’t save him from a bad guy who wants to get revenge from his twin sister getting raped years ago. 

This play was AMAZING!! Wow, the story was very unique and the acting was brilliant.  I’m so glad we got to see this play and it was definitely the best show we’ve seen at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.

We found out that our friend Jo was coming to the Fringe Festival from London for one day with his two friends.  Ivan and I thought it was strange because there’s lots to do in Edinburgh and one day isn’t enough especially since they were driving 7 hours each way.  Also, Jo doesn’t really like theatre.. so we weren’t sure what he was going to see.  Ivan thought he might be seeing an Indian play since Jo is Indian (Indian as in from Indian apposed to American Indians). 

Ivan texted Jo earlier, but Jo never texted us back.  We figured maybe he was sleeping after the long drive.  We wanted to meet up with him for dinner, but he never got back to us.  Ivan knew that his friends were going to see a play at Space… so, we decided to go there after our last show to see if Jo ended up going to that show with his friends.  We really wanted to see him since we probably won’t be able to see him for years (since he’s moving to Copenhagen, plus we’re not sure if he’ll be able to travel to Las Vegas to see us since his wife was born in India… we’re not sure how easy it would be for her to get a visa to come to America). 

Ivan and I waited outside in the courtyard and had a cider.  We saw Jo exit the Space theatre with his two friends.. but he didn’t see us.  So, Ivan and I thought we should secretly follow him.  Jo was chatting awhile with his friends just standing there.. finally, they started walking and we followed suit.  They stopped at another place while Ivan and I hid behind a fence.  So far they still hadn’t spotted us.  Ivan thought I should go up to them and beg for money in a British accent.  I’ve been trying to talk in an English accent since I don’t like my American accent (which is boring)… also, I don’t want our kids growing up with a weird sounding American and British accent.. believe me, I’ve heard a similar combination being Australian and American and it sounded rather odd.

So, I pulled my fuchsia hood over my head (to cover my head) and went over to Jo and his friends.  I said “Can you spare some change?” in an accent that I thought sounded British.  I held out my hand to all his friends first.  Jo said “Oy!” and grabbed my hand since he recognized my voice.  I said “Why are you grabbing me?” and ran off.  I wasn’t sure if Ivan saw this.  I tried to hide in case Jo came running after me.  I saw Ivan pop his head around the fence.  I motioned for him to come my way.  He put his hood over his head and walked towards me.  I told him what happened.  He left and went to talk to Jo.  I was still in hiding.  I came out and we started chatting to Jo and his friends Fish (obviously Fish is a nickname… although it did look like he ate A LOT of fish.. hence the nickname?! Probably not…)and Sunil.  I asked Jo why he didn’t chase after me. 

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He said he knew our tricks and that we’d be there to chat with him soon. 

It was great seeing Jo again since the last time we saw him was in London a few months back.. and we thought we wouldn’t see him for a long, long time.

Ivan chatted with Fish and Sunil while I chatted with Jo.  I got on a cow and didn’t think I should be on it.. so we quickly took a picture.

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I asked Jo a few questions about his recent marriage in India.  It was an arranged marriage (as opposed to disarranged marriage which is just chaos!).  He’s going to be moving to Copenhagen soon and his wife will be coming over in a month and a half.  I’m happy that he’s married now… I bet he’s going to be a dad really soon.  He’s definitely one of the friends who I wished lived in Vegas… we always have fun together.

Credits: Tim Vine Chat Show photo

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Mime A Cappella

On August 17, 2012, Ivan, Lil Dave and I had lunch at Hunt & Darton again.  I really love this cool café.  Ivan got the nut roast sandwich which had a lot of bread and I got the same lovely Roughage salad that I got yesterday.  We also ordered regular tea. 

The owners recognized us from yesterday.  The guest today was a gay man in a leotard.  He was going to read do tea leaf readings.  He said he’d get us a new pot of tea.  He probably needed more tea leaves so that he could properly do a reading.  The tea had to steep.

I noticed one of the owners asked one of the patrons if he wanted to pick a record to play.  He picked a great 60’s tune which was Sounds of Silence by Simon & Garfunkel.

I saw that the owners reading a poem to the guy who picked the record.. at the end, they stand up and shake their butts and then bend over and point.

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Very strange and cool at the same time.

We poured out the tea and drank it.  The guy, Tom Marshman, told us that we had to think of a question while we drank our tea.  There were plenty of tea leaves to do a reading.  The man came over and told us to turn the tea cup over onto the tea saucer and rotate it fully twice.  Then, we were to look at our leaves and say what we saw. My question was When will I become pregnant?   I saw a puppy dog.. maybe since I keep noticing cute dogs everywhere we travel.  The man looked at it from a different perspective (ok, he just turned the tea cup 180 degrees) and said he saw a lobster.  I guess if you looked close enough….and used a LOT of imagination.

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Ivan’s questions was What kind of business should I go into?  Ivan’s tea leaves looked like a dog standing on a table.  The man thought so too.. and then he looked further and thought he saw an dog on an elephant and I suggested it was like a circus. 

Tom didn’t really have a clue as he consulted his tea leaf reading book (seriously!).  It appeared as though he knew nothing at all about tea leaf reading, so god knows why on earth he had been asked to do it!

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A lobster maybe.. if you turn it 180° it looks like a dog.

He said to me, “Could it be a crab?” since he couldn’t find lobster.  I said I guess so.  He told me that somebody in my life was being annoying.  I think he looked up puppy dog as well and he said I needed to be close to family and friends.  Ok, my question was definitely not answered.. far from it!

Ivan’s circus scene showed that he should relax more and do what he’s been doing.  It was fun getting a tea leaf reading.  We’re not sure why the man was giving these readings.. but maybe him avoiding Ivan’s question “Do you think seeing 5 shows a day at the Fringe is too much?” and saying instead “You should check out my show” was the reason.  Self-promotion (which I’m always doing with the blog) at it’s weirdest and finest.  Tom’s show is about a guy who has great legs called Legs 11.  We told him about our weddings and our honeymoon and gave him our business card. 

It was off to see another Edinburgh Fringe Festival show.  This time it was an all male A Cappella group called Out of the Blue from Oxford University.  The guys danced around and did funny things like dancing around like animals (including Lil Dave’s favorite the monkey!) during the song ‘The Lion Sleeps Tonight’.  Other songs included California Gurls, Teenage Dream by Katy Perry and Don’t You Want Me by Human League.  One of the guys was an Asian with dyed blonde hair – he reminded me of an old friend of mine named Robert.  This a cappella group were smashing.

Lil Dave went to see the show Monkey Slips on a Banana which was a monkey mime.

Next up was an interactive theatre show called Back to School.  This was soo much fun!!  Ivan attended school in England being British, but since I’m American I didn’t.  It was a ‘site-specific’ show meaning that it took place in a place other than a theatre – it was in an actual school!

First, we were 12 years old.  We had an assembly and met all the teachers. It was funny because we were sitting on little chairs as if we were kids, and all the teachers were speaking to us as if we were kids. We were then split up into classes and our first class was art!

We had to dress each other up using newspapers which was hilarious. My group dressed me up as Gandalf.  I even did a bit of acting saying ‘You shall not pass!’ while putting my staff into the ground (like in the Lord of the Rings movie).  Then we went to another room and had biology, which turned into a sex education class which was also really hilarious!

Then it was down to gym session. Then Ivan and me were split up because our ties were different, and I had drama lessons, which Ivan went to ‘food appreciation’ where he had to learn about the ‘noble potato’.  I got to wear wings in Drama and recite ‘Romeo & Juliet’ with a partner.  I tried to act like Romeo with a British accent.

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With every class, we were a year older each time.

The group got together outside to take a school photo.  Ivan wonders why they used a crappy camera instead of something that produced better photos.. maybe they wanted to be ironic producing a crappy low resolution photo.. not really sure.

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At the end, we had to take a test.  It was going to be 5 minutes long, but it seemed shorter than that and I didn’t end up finishing my test.

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Ivan ended up winning Silliest Student (from being funny & silly) and got an S badge.  They also showed us a video starring a past pupil called Jonathon Ross who is pretty famous in England.

The entire show was a ton of fun and such an original concept..They were running a back to school disco later on in the week, which we really wanted to go to, but couldn’t as we had tickets for The Royal Edinburgh Military Tattoo.

Our next show was Billy the Mime.  I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it in this blog, but the job I put down when I fill out the Immigration forms is mime.  Ivan puts down clown.  Yes, this has brought on a few interesting looks when I try to do a mime impression which isn’t really that good.  Maybe I should actually learn how to be a mime. 

Billy the Mime was great.. not doing the popular ‘I’m trapped in a box’ bit that mimes just LOVE doing.  He did different bits like Michael Jackson’s Life, Whitney Houston’s Last Bath, World War II and the History of Art. He also did quite a few controversial and very rude sketches, which would probably offend a few readers if I mentioned them. It was very artsy and funny.  I think I have much to learn after seeing a great mime like that.  I’ll have to practice more to become THAT good.

It was time for some comedy.  Ivan, Lil Dave and I really love comedy.  Jimmy Carr was very, very funny. 

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I think he looked at me a few times.. I think it was my Tainted Love TITS shirt with a girl in the bikini that distracted him.  He’s a posh British guy who says very rude things.  We loved it!!  He’s always a delight to watch.

Our last show was Spank!  Ivan wanted to sell the tickets, as we were a bit tired and had already seen four shows that day, but we didn’t have any luck doing that.  So, we ended up going.  It was in a basement room.  There was a birthday party celebration with a few guys in kilts.  One of the funniest acts was a girl who did burlesque dancing. She had a bell that she kept ringing by moving her hips.  It was quite funny.  At the end of her act, she rang the bell so much it seemed to make her go nuts!!!

There was a weird guy named Gary Le Strange.  He was popular like 10 years ago at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.  He was making fun of 80’s new wave bands.  His lyrics were very odd and not really very funny.  The audience weren’t interested and started chatting.  The hosts thought he was wonderful (not sure if that was true.. they can’t really say to an audience that an act is crap can they?)… but probably not going to connect with an audience filled with people who were born in the 80’s.  Ivan and I agree that even if they were our age, they still wouldn’t find it funny.  I felt really sorry for the guy since nobody liked his act.

The show is 3 hours long, but we were knackered (tired) and left at the interval.

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Indian Freedom

On August 15, 2012, Ivan, Lil Dave and I woke up at 8:15 am.  I found out some bad news about my friend (who used to be my boss) who passed away – he was really sick.  So, I was crying during the free breakfast.  The lady who works at the hostel asked me if anything was wrong.  I said no.  I bet she thought I was crying coz the breakfast was bad.. but I wasn’t.. the breakfast was quite good with cereal, cheese, meats and boiled eggs.

I packed my things up (Ivan packed his last night) and we got into a taxi at 9:40 am headed to the bus station.  We got the bus to the airport which took 40 minutes. 

Check-in, Security and Immigration went by pretty fast.  We were early for once.  There was no free wi-fi at the airport.  I wrote postcards and Ivan and I shared a salmon and cream cheese bagel.

The plane left Dubrovnik, Croatia at 12:30 pm for Edinburgh, Scotland.  Our plane landed at 2:30 pm.

We got the bus to the centre of Edinburgh.  Then, we walked around with our backpacks to try to find a taxi to the Airbnb apartment we were staying at during our Edinburgh stay. 

10 minutes later, we arrived at the apartment and met Adriana.  She’s a nice woman who showed us around the apartment and  said if we had any questions we could ask her.  We also met her boyfriend.  It was great that we were able to have things sent to their apartment.  I bought some books for our upcoming cruise and a few presents for Ivan’s birthday next month. 

Ivan and I took showers and later went out.  It started raining which is typical Edinburgh weather. 

It was time for dinner.  Ivan was glad we were having Indian food at Kama Sutra.  He has been missing it since at home we cook Indian every day for lunch. 

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Ivan and I shared pan fried crab with yoghurt, daal, pind de choley (chickpeas dish), vegetables with curry sauce, aloo gobhi (potatoes).  Lil Dave had a banana tikka masala.  We had our food with a lovely Syrah from Spain which complemented the spicy food.  It was a delicious meal.  We will definitely be returning back for more.

Next, it was our first Edinburgh Festival Fringe show Stand up for Freedom.  The show that benefits Amnesty International which is a group that protect people wherever justice, fairness, freedom and truth are denied. 

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Hannibal Buress

We saw lots of comedians and acts like David O’Doherty, Josie Long, American comedian Hannibal Burress, The Boy with Tape on his Face and Frisky and Mannish.

The hosts talked about one of the causes Amnesty International was currently supporting.  A Russian feminist rock band named Pussy Riot performed a punk prayer inside a church saying that President Vladimir Putin should be removed from office.  3 of the band Pussy Riot were arrested and are awaiting sentencing soon.  This has brought on international support from such celebrities like Madonna and Stephen Fry. 

If their name was something normal, I don’t think I would have remembered their name.  Plus, I felt that the band had balls for doing something political in a church.  Girl power!  At one point, we were asked to stand up for a video being made. 

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We had to scream FREE PUSSY RIOT!! and asked to throw our fists in the air.  I did so and even pulled a mean face.  The sentencing was for ‘hooliganism’ (seriously, they were charged for this!! I didn’t know people got charged for that! Haha.. just sounds so funny). They have now unfortunately, been  sentenced to 2 years in prison.  Quite harsh!

Credits: Hannibal Buress photo

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